Category Archives: Ask a Superhero

Powerhouse and Adam Graham Discuss Dr. Who

With apologies to Abbott and Costello.
Powerhouse: So, I hear you’re pretty excited about the latest DVD you got from Netflix. Is it a Superhero?

Adam: No, it’s Science Fiction. It’s the classic story of a Time and  Traveling Doctor.

Powerhouse: Who?

Adam: Exactly. I gather he goes around the galaxy with various people he’s picked up and goes through time. It’s a  classic. In fact, they’ve got a plot device where they can change actors and each new actor is designated as the next doctor.There have been eleven doctors.

Powerhouse: Who are these doctors?

Adam: Yes, naturally.

Powerhouse: I’m asking you who are the doctors.

Adam: Well, I’m telling you Who are the doctors.

Powerhouse: What’s the name of the doctors?

Adam: No, Who’s the name of the doctors?

Powerhouse: Okay, who’s the name of the Doctors?

Adam:Now you’ve got it.

Powerhouse: I do?

Ask a Superhero: Theme Music

Int.: As a Superhero afficianado, could you tell us what superhero has the coolest theme music?

Dave: That’s pretty easy. Superman.

Int.: Any particular version?

Dave: Every version, whether it was a cartoon, a TV show or a movie, Superman had great themes. Very exciting and stirring. I also love the 1960s Batman Theme and fight music. I used to like the Danny Elfman Batman music from Batman with Michael Keaton, but Willy Wonka ruined that.

Int.: Why?

Dave: Well Derrick wanted to See Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which Elfman scored almost the same way as he did Batman. I was expecting the Joker to appear at any moment in that movie. Now, when I see that Batman series, I end up expecting Oompa Loompas to jump out, so I can’t even enjoy those.

Int.: You don’t like oompa loompas?

Dave: Not in a Batman movie. Maybe if there was an Oompa Loompa Superhero villain.

Int.: Like maybe the riddler as an Oompa Loompa. “Oompa Loompa Dupedy Doo, Batman, I’ve got another riddle for you.”

Dave: Well something like that anyway.

Int: Beyond the music ruined by Danny Elfman, is there any supehero theme you don’t like?

Dave: Sure from the 1966-67 Iron Man TV show. That’s too cheesy, even for me.

Int: I didn’t know that was possible. What about your own theme music?

Dave: My theme music? I’d have to have a TV show first.

Int: You know like when some basebally players come to the plate, they have music playing, like We Will Rock You.

Dave: You expect me to fly into battle, playing, We Will Rock You.

Int: You mean you’ve not thought of it?

Dave: Not that specifically, I did ask about a theme for the website. The lawyers say I can’t have theme music that’s been published because the artists can sue. They said I could use public domain music for a theme, but the only thing I’ve come up with is World War I fight music. Imagine flying into battle with that.

Int.: I see the challenge. Maybe, you should consider some giveaways.

Dave: That’s a thought.

Int: Let’s talk about it next week. E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd, but you can sample the first four chapters for free in our ebook.

Ask a Superhero: Picking a Costume

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interview: Our next question comes from Abner Hollaran in Lewisville, Texas. Abner thinks your custome looks great, but it doesn’t look comfortable.

Dave Johnson: It’s not really.

Int: If it’s not comfortable, why do you wear it?

Dave: There are three priorities in Superhero costumes. The top priority is a cool looking design. The second is safety.

Int.: Wait a second. You’re saying its more important that your custome look cool than be safe.

Dave: What good is it to be safe if people laugh at you when you come to rescue them. Safety is a close second, though. Then, there’s comfort. Unfortunately, looking good and being safe can make you kind of stiff. That’s why when I get home from work, I change into something more relaxing.

Int.: Have you ever thought of doing a Casual Friday?

Dave: Casual Friday?

Int.: You know instead of your Superhero costume, you fly into town with a Superhero t-shirt, a light mask, and a pair of shorts.

Dave: If I were to fly into town on a rocket pack wearing a pair of shorts, there would be a barbeque on Casual Friday.

Int: What would be cooked?

Dave: My legs. Second, office workers can have casual Fridays because their work is over. But not superheroes. We fight a continuous skirmish-

Int.: You mean never ending-

Dave: No, the lawyers said I had to use continuous skirmish. As I was saying, we fight a continuous skirmish against the forces of larceny, drug dealing, and murder. Evil doesn’t take the weekends off, so our resolve can never weaken, and neither can our clothes.

Int.: How do you keep your costume clean.

Dave: Easy, I imagine my costume into existence, so its clean when I put it on. I also dust off my already clean costume.

*Dave stands and dusts off his already clean costume.*

Int.: But it was already cleaned.

Dave: Of course, it’s clean because I dusted it off.

Int (sighs): Ookay. E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd, but you can sample the first four chapters for free in our ebook.

Ask a Superhero: Picking a Name

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interviewer: Our next question comes Kit Tyler in Tyler, Texas. Kit wants to know if he became a superhero, how would he pick out his name?

Dave: This is a great question for a potential superhero to think of and I racked my brain until one of my kids gave me a name. As you may not have a kid to name you, I actually have come up with some great supehero names that I’ll let anyone takes who wants to use them:
  1. The Human Itch
  2. Expendable Man
  3. The Fool
  4. The Rope Burn Kid
  5. Amoeba Dude
  6. The Amazing Ordinary Man
  7. Flea Bag
  8. Flag Football Commando
  9. Used Car Man
Int: And if people don’t want the villains to laugh.
Dave: Well, there’s a reason these names haven’t been taken yet. Otherwise, you just need to make sure the name’s not taken. Perhaps, the best thing to do is to use aThesaurus. For example if you want to strike fear in the hearts of criminals use a synonym for fear and put a “the”before it. Anyone will do.
Int: Like The Terror?
Dave: No, The Terror’s been taken. However, you could be, The Consternation.
Int: So, ‘Stand back villains, I’m the Costernation.’
Dave: You got it.
Int: That doesn’t sound quite right.
Dave: Well, you take it out for a test drive, use it on a mission and see how it works.
Int: E-mail your questions for Dave toaskasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday atLaser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd, but you cansample the first four chapters for free in our ebook.

Ask a Superhero: What Do You Think You Were Doing

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interviewer: Well, fancy meeting you.

Dave Johnson: You in a bad mood?

Int.: You were supposed to be here every week for the past two months! And I’ve been here and where have you been? Do you think I’ve got nothing better to do.

Dave: Really, I’m sorry.

Int.: You could have called, you could have written-

Dave: Would you like to know why I was gone?

Int.: I don’t care! I have no interest in knowing what you were doing. I just have one question.

Dave: And that is?

Int.: What were you doing all these months?

*Dave blinks*

Dave: Okay, well, the writers were doing a rewrite. They wanted to fill in some blanks.

Int.: It took them two months.

Dave: Well, they interviewed Naomi and her friend Carmela, and they needed to get some more information from me. Apparently, I’d been a little vague on a few details.

Int.: Is there anything else to come out of this?

Dave: Well, the authors felt the door was open to a sequel.

Int.: So that’s what this was all about. A sequel! You get more royalties, they get more royalties and I spend two months of you not showing up. I didn’t go to interviewer school for this!

Dave: It really wasn’t-

Int.: This is all about the plush toys.

Dave: What?

Int.: The writers have got all kinds of rights, and they’ve spent these two months sprucing up your story so that you can sell plush toys and a hundred sequels.

Dave: I wouldn’t do 100 sequels. If I do a sequel, I’m only doing one.

Int.: Why only one?

Dave: Well, think about this Superman II was better than Superman the Movie, Spiderman II was better than Spiderman, The Dark Knight was better than Batman Begins.

Int: Okay, and your point?

Dave: Superheroes can only make a good story and then a good sequel. After that, it’s all downhill. Think Superman III, Spiderman III, Teenant Mutant Ninja Turtles III. No, I’d only consent to one sequel.

Int.: As long as you get to sell your plush toys.

Dave: You’re bitter about that. No one has signed a plush toy contract.

Int.: Not yet. But you will.

Dave: Do you think you’ll be in a better mood next week. How about we come back then with a reader question.

Int.: I’ll decide when to end this interview, and I think now’s a good time. E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. He may decide to grace us with his presence.

Dave: Oh come on, I’ll be here.

Int: We’ll see. You can also follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 22nd. A free ebook containing the first four chapters is available for download. You can also become a fan of the book on Facebook.
He’s also set up a Twitter account @dimknight.

Ask a Superhero: Cool Superhero Gadgets

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interviewer: Our next question comes from Clive Staples nominated Author Fred Warren.
“There are a lot of wannabe superheroes these days, so I want to make sure you’re the real deal…every superhero has his own supply of super-cool super-high-tech gadgets. Do you?”

Dave: I don’t need superhero gadgets on hand. I can create them with my mind.

Int: So you have a super imagination?

Dave: Yes, I can imagine anything I want and it’ll appear. This is great for me. Bruce Wayne may have the batcave to put all of his stuff in, but I’m not a billionaire, and my garage is already full. This way, I can imagine a device to be there for me when I need it and then just imagine it out of existence later. And no chance the kids might find my rocket pack and take off with it.

Int: So tell us what are some of the high tech gadgets you imagine yourself having that we’ll see in Tales of the Dim Knight?

Dave: There’s my rocket pack, a 50 foot giant robot, and a flying stealth aircraft with retractable whips and machine guns that fire rubber bullets.

Int: Pretty impressive. What do you use the 50 foot giant robot for?

Dave: You have to read the book to find out.

Int: E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 1st.

Ask a Superhero: Pet Peeves and Politics

Welcome to our continuing weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.


Interviewer: Kat had a few more questions.
Dave Johnson: She gets more than one?
Int: Well, it’s not like we’re brimming with questions.
Dave: Okay, go ahead.
Int: She wants to know if you have any pet peeves about superheroes.
Dave: Not about the real ones.
Int: What about in the comic books?
Dave: Well, I do have one big pet peeve and that’s Superheroes getting involved in politics. I want to see heroes fighting the bad guys, not mouthing off about Dole v. Clinton or whoever is running for President. Or bashing tea parties or having political talk show hosts as Cyborg heroes. Superheroes have no place in politics.
Int: I’m curious. Do you vote at all?
Dave: I believe it’s every citizen’s obligation to vote. However, you should never vote in a specific race where you don’t know what’s going on.
Int: So how do you vote?
Dave: I go and get a ballot and then put it in the envelope with all the races I know something about filled out.
Int: How many is that usually?
Dave; Um-uh-zero. They always say that I’m the quickest voter they’ve ever seen. But I get the “I voted” sticker. That’s what counts.
Int: So you really aren’t political at all. I don’t know how you’ll deal with this next question. She wants to know, If you could choose one superhero to run for President who would it be?
Dave: I don’t know why a Superhero would want to run for President. Being a superhero is far better, and you don’t have to be dishonest like in politics. But I think the only logical choice would be Iron Man, Tony Stark. First, it takes a lot of money to run for President, and Stark has even more money than Bruce Wayne. Secondly, if you run for office, it’s always those you love that get hurt most. Most superheroes have secret identities to protect their families and would never do anything like run for office. However, Tony Stark would be a good candidate for office as he’s a narcissist who wouldn’t be as bothered by his friends getting some unfavorable press, and being emotionally wounded. They’ll get over it.
Int: Well that makes sense in a cynical sort of way. We’d love to answer your questions. E-mail your questions for Dave to askasuperhero@laserandsword.com.
Dave: I will hold my breath until I get an e-mail.
(Dave inhales deeply and holds breath.)
Int: That’s not a good idea, you could pass out.
Dave (through clinched teeth): Nonshense, I’m a shuperhero.
Int: Want to read more about the wild and varied adventures of Dave Johnson? Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release November 1st.
(Dave collapses.)
(Interviewer runs over to Dave and slaps him.)
Int: Come on. Get up. Anyone got any smelling salt?

Ask a Superhero: Origin of the Superfan

Welcome to our weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interviewer: Our question this week comes from Kat Heckenbach.

Dave Johnson: Cat? Is she any relation to Catwoman?

Int: I don’t think so. Anyway, her question is based on the fact that you are not only a Super Hero, but one of the top Super Hero fans in all of Western Washington. She asks, “I’d like to know how Dave first discovered comic books/superheroes. How old was he?”

Dave: When I was four, my father died in a car wreck, and then my paternal grandfather came to live with us. Grandfather introduced me to superheroes, and we spent all of our spare time together reading comic books, watching reruns of Superman and Batman on TV along with some of the new cartoons that came out in the 1980s, watching the Fleischer Cartoons on VHS tapes, listening to old radio episodes of the Shadow, The Green Hornet, The Blue Beetle, and of course, Superman. He took me to see Superman III and Superman IV in theaters. Grandpa died when I was ten, and left me his collection of super hero stuff. Mom thought I ought to sell it go to college. No way. I got a GED even and I still have the collection.

Int.: Got a question for Dave? E-mail askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Want to read more about the wild and varied adventures of Dave Johnson? Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release September 1st.

Ask a Superhero: Book Title

Welcome to our weekly feature where we ask a question of a Superhero, Dave Johnson, aka Powerhouse and the Emerald Avenger.

Interviewer: Our first question comes from Ms. Verity Callaghan*, she asks, “What do you think of the title of your book?”

Mild Mannered Dave Johnson: “The Adventures of the Amazing Powerhouse”?

Int.: Um-that’s not the title. That was only a working title, but now we’ve chosen a new title.

Dave: You laid off the title?

Int.: In a matter of speaking. The title is, Tales of the Dim Knight.

Dave: Dim! I’ll have you know that I got a 91 on the IQ test, and that’s still an A! And I have a GED, and it took me years of study to get that degree. Dim? I don’t think so. I’m as bright as the Northern Lights of Alaska.

Int.: And humble too.

Dave: Yes, I’m a mild-mannered janitor by evening, Superhero by late nights. And when I leave work at about 7, it’s kind of dark out, but not really. It’s more dim. Hey, that’s it! That’s why they called it, The Dim Knight because when I leave and it’s fall, it is dim. Well, I thought you were insulting me. I’m sorry for all the horrible things I thought of doing to you that would violate the Super Hero code.

Int.: Quite all right.

Dave: Why are you snickering like that?

Int: Got a question for Dave. E-mail askasuperhero@laserandsword.com. Want to read more about the wild and varied adventures of Dave Johnson? Then follow his story every Tuesday at Laser and Sword Magazine. Tales of the Dim Knight is set for release September 1st.

*Verity Callaghan is a character in Andrea’s Graham’s Purple Earth Saga.