The Emerald Avenger v. The Corruptibles, Part Sixteen

Continued from Part Fifteen

Zolgron cleared his throat. “Next on the list is Ross’s left arm, Jake Welch. To get him, you’ll need to send him an e-mail.”

Dave arched his eyebrows. “I’m going to terrorize him with threatening e-mails?”

“No, you’ll send him an attachment—us.”

The Emerald Avenger withdrew back to the real world and sat at his computer. He created a new free e-mail account and opened a new message window.

A miniature Zolgron appeared in the upper left corner of his screen. “Make the subject, ‘Earn $5,000 while you sleep!’”


“We want to get sent to his junk mail folder.”

The Emerald Avenger sighed and typed the subject. He entered the computer and stood on the blue and white background of the free e-mail service. The Avenging Eagle sat at the bottom of the compose mail page. The header loomed as large as the Hollywood sign. He joined Zolgron inside the Avenging Eagle. “Okay, now what?”

“Press the ‘Send’ button.”

“Where’s that?”

Zolgron pointed to the ignition, or rather at the big orange button labeled “SEND” where the ignition should be.

“Oh.” The Emerald Avenger pressed it. A large crane clutched the Eagle. He grabbed the wheel and made a hard left to try and shake free. No good, the crane sent them shooting through a vortex.

Zolgron laughed. “Relax. All will be well.”

At the end of the vortex, another crane grabbed the Avenging Eagle and dropped them into another black hole. They landed with a jolt on top of a pile of a giant’s junk mail.

Zolgron screamed, “Get out!”

“But it’s twenty messages straight down.”

“Another will arrive any second. Our position will be much more precarious.”

The Emerald Avenger jumped from the Avenging Eagle and landed on his feet next to the tall stack. Zolgron followed him down. A message with the header, “Help xrqv” landed on top of their message with an ear-splitting crunch. Metal and glass rained down.

Zolgron studied the headers on the spam list. The Emerald Avenger glanced over the list. Most of them asked if Welch wanted to cheat on his wife or otherwise insulted his manhood.

After a moment, the Emerald Avenger asked, “What are we looking for?”

Zolgron pointed up. “There! It’s in message fifteen.”

The Emerald Avenger and Zolgron climbed up to message fifteen and crawled through the open door inside the first “O” of, “Quick in your response.”

The Emerald Avenger cleared his throat and read the message. “‘My name is Obusi Markfarwi, the son of the late oil Minister of Nigeria.’ Hey! This is the Nigerian scam where the person sending the e-mail pretends to be a relative of a deposed African dignitary offering millions of dollars to whoever can help them come to the US.” The Emerald Avenger glanced at Zolgron. “What are we supposed to do with this?”

“What else? Reply to it.”

Continued Next Tuesday

Tales of the Dim Knight is available in Paperback form, in the Kindle Store�(on sale this week for $2.99), as well as on Smashwords in a variety of formats. At both sites, you can get extensive free excerpts on your computer, or sent directly to your Kindle device from the Kindle store.

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