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	<title>Laser &#38; Sword Magazine &#187; Character Sketches</title>
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	<description>Reviving episodic short fiction.</description>
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		<title>The Order of the Sword Decides</title>
		<link>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/the-order-of-the-sword-decides/</link>
		<comments>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/the-order-of-the-sword-decides/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:24:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Order of the Sword]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/the-order-of-the-sword-decides/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DC is going to have a new &#8220;Decisions&#8221; series where its heroes come out with their political affiliations. Yep, folks, it&#8217;s apparent we&#8217;re that desperate, we are so clueless about politics, we&#8217;d rather watch Batman and the Green Arrow battle it out than actually study the issues. As a writer of Superhero fiction, I feel [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font><em>DC is going to have a new <a href="http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=156482">&#8220;Decisions&#8221;</a> series  where its heroes come out with their political affiliations. Yep, folks, it&#8217;s  apparent we&#8217;re that desperate, we are so clueless about politics, we&#8217;d rather  watch Batman and the Green Arrow battle it out than actually study the  issues.</p>
<p>As a writer of Superhero fiction, I feel that it&#8217;s my solemn duty  to blindly follow the bleetings of our overlords at DC and Marvel. So, we now  present </em></p>
<p></font></p>
<h2><font>The Order of the Sword Decides </font></h2>
<p><font></p>
<p>Yes, they&#8217;ll tell you who to  vote for and what to think. There&#8217;s only one flaw and that is that the entire  lot of them were stranded in an unknown location in January and therefore many  of them still think Mitt Romney and Ron Paul are running. But since the public  apparently demands it, we&#8217;ll let them tell you how to think:</p>
<p><strong>The Sword  and Revelator </strong></p>
<p>Sword: The Sword has no partisan  affiliation-<br />
Revelator: That&#8217;s why you have a picture of Mitt Romney by your  bed.<br />
Sword: I do not. It&#8217;s actually on the wall-Wait, a second. You see  that&#8217;s the line I draw. It&#8217;s not on the wall of the Sword. The Wall of the Sword  is strictly an American wall, dedicated to American principles and will not be  corrupted by partisan politics.<br />
Revelator: But the wall of your Secret  Identity is so full of Republican stuff that all that&#8217;s missing is an elephant  mural.<br />
Sword: Well, that would be his right.<br />
Revelator: Well, Revelator  is proud to endorse the Ron Paul Revolution.<br />
Sword: No, Revelator can&#8217;t  endorse-<br />
Revelator: I know you got a little cheesed when I stuck a Ron Paul  bumpersticker on the back of the Sword Car. But I&#8217;m just talking about me. The  guy in the cape who can read your mind. Ron Paul will stop the government from  spying on you to learn all your dirty little secrets, too.<br />
Sword: Inspiring  I&#8217;m sure. Note to self: Work out an anti-political endorsements clause in the  contract.<br />
Revelator: It&#8217;ll never hold up in court.</p>
<p><strong>Payday  </strong></p>
<p>Payday stands holding a Missile launcher. &#8220;Endorsements.&#8221;</p>
<p>He  fires the Missile launcher into a target. &#8220;I settle my problems with bullets,  not ballots. Politics is a waste of time. Government never helped anyone, ask my  dead girlfriend about that if you don&#8217;t believe me. Though, I did give $2300 to  Ron Paul to get Revelator off my back.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Small Packages and Skyscraper  </strong></p>
<p>Small Packages: We&#8217;re from Chicago where the Democrats run things  and they&#8217;re corrupt. Then in 2002, it came out that the Republican Governor of  the State was corrupt. So, the way we figure it, they&#8217;re all corrupt, and we  don&#8217;t do anything with politics. Though, we did each give $2300 to Ron Paul to  make Revelator shut up.</p>
<p><strong>Commander Justice </strong></p>
<p>Commander  Justice: The Justice Family is a big believer in voting and we vote for the most  pro-America candidate available.</p>
<p>Interviewer: And what does that  mean?</p>
<p>Commender Justice: The candidate whose not just running on a  platform, but for the best America and will take care of it and keep it strong  and be proud to be an American.</p>
<p>Interviewer: And so who do you  support?</p>
<p>Commander Justice: We don&#8217;t tell. We just support whoever is the  most pro-America and pro-goodness candidate. We also don&#8217;t contribute money to  candidates, which I&#8217;ve only had to tell Revelator a dozen times.</p>
<p>Speedskater:</p>
<p>I&#8217;m proud to be the Co-Chair of Superheroes for Ron  Paul, along with Revelator.</p>
<p>The Gardener:</p>
<p>Dennis Kucinich is the  man. He speaks for the trees. I gave him $2300, but to make Revelator happy, I  also sent $2300 to Ron Paul.</p>
<p>Waxman:</p>
<p>Fighting off psychopathic  serial killers, alien space monsters, and all the criminals on the street, I  don&#8217;t have time to study the candidates, so I don&#8217;t vote. I figure I might mess  something up. But I did give Ron Paul $2300 to impress Speedskater. She gave me  a definite maybe when I asked her out afterwards.</p>
<p>Indeed, Waxman spoke  for the majority of heroes we interviewed. Thus leaving us with the following  results in our strawpoll:</p>
<p>Ron Paul 2<br />
Dennis Kucinich 1<br />
Not-Voters  9<br />
Publicly Uncommitted 2<br />
Political Donations to Ron Paul:  $27,600<br />
Political Donations to Dennis Kucinich: $2300</p>
<p>Note, we didn&#8217;t  bother to ask our foreign heroes as they wouldn&#8217;t really have a knowledge or  interest in American politics. Unfortunately, as neither Paul nor Kucinich is  running this does not help the legions of easily led Superhero fans out there  make up their minds. We did get formal reactions in a conversation with the  Sword and Revelator:</p>
<p>Sword: Ron Paul! You were raising money from the  Guild of Heroes for Ron Paul! $28,000?<br />
Revelator: Actually, it was more than  30,000. Texas Ranger gave some too. But, I didn&#8217;t really have to talk him into  it. He was from Texas after all.<br />
Sword: I didn&#8217;t even know you were a  political activist.<br />
Revelator: I&#8217;m not. Haven&#8217;t voted in 12 years, but I&#8217;m  going out to vote for Ron Paul.<br />
Sword: And you know, I&#8217;d just like to make a  statement. It&#8217;s great that he got you involved. Got you active. I&#8217;m okay with  that. That&#8217;s the Sword&#8217;s message. Vote for whoever you would like. See, I&#8217;m not  angry. I&#8217;m just a little shocked.<br />
Revelator: That&#8217;s a relief. I thought  you&#8217;d blow your top when I mentioned the last time I voted it was for  Perot.<br />
Sword: Well, why would I get mad, just because you-You voted for  Perot! You gave this country Bill Clinton!<br />
Revelator: I thought you were just  shocked.<br />
Sword: Ross Perot! You gave us Clinton!</p>
<p>Thus, why we don&#8217;t  usually talk about politics at Laser and Sword&#8230;</font></p>
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		<title>The Origin of Payday</title>
		<link>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/the-origin-of-payday/</link>
		<comments>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/the-origin-of-payday/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Feb 2008 06:28:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Order of the Sword]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/the-origin-of-payday/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The following tells the origin of Payday, a gun-toting psychopathic vigilante, and a member of the Order of the Sword, a series in Laser and Sword Magazine. Marcus Weller rubbed moisturizer into his chiseled face. He looked in the mirror and blew his bleach blond reflection a kiss. Adonis himself would be jealous. His recent [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>The following tells the origin of Payday, a gun-toting psychopathic vigilante, and a member of the Order of the Sword, a series in </em>Laser and Sword Magazine<em>.   </em></p>
<p>Marcus Weller rubbed moisturizer into his chiseled face. He looked in the mirror and blew his bleach blond reflection a kiss. Adonis himself would be jealous. His recent facial and half day at the spa had rejuvenated perfection.</p>
<p>He turned to his neatly made bed, where a freshly pressed suit lay folded for work on Monday. First, though, he had to do Yoga and cook dinner. He&#8217;d taped this fantastic show from the Food Channel, with a recipe he was just dying to try.</p>
<p>He picked up the newspaper. The headline read: &#8220;Payday Forger steals $22K.&#8221;</p>
<p>He&#8217;d have to have his tellers watch out for this guy and his phony checks. Marcus Weller had never been taken by a forger, and he wasn&#8217;t about to start now. <span id="more-34"></span></p>
<p>###</p>
<p>As the bank opened on Monday, Marcus gave himself a final once over at the drive thru window that ended with his shoes. Blast it, there was an imperfection in the shine. He fetched shoe polish from his brief case and briskly polished the offending blemish. &#8220;Out unpolished spot!&#8221;</p>
<p>A feminine hand touched his shoulder. Marcus stood and turned around. &#8220;Amber!&#8221; He shoved the shoe polish tin back into his brief case and placed his right hand in his pocket. <em>Can&#8217;t let that engagement ring fall out. </em>&#8220;Darling, you startled me.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Marcus,&#8221; said Amber. &#8220;He&#8217;s here.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus took a check she held out to him. A Bartley Brothers payroll check. It looked legit, all right. He whispered in Amber&#8217;s ear. &#8220;Which window?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Three.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus glanced at window three. The man standing there didn&#8217;t look muscular, not like you&#8217;d expect from a guy working at a furniture store. His shirt and his pants didn&#8217;t go together at all; Green and purple clashed, particularly when the green shirt had orange stripes. That much didn&#8217;t necessarily make him the Payday Forger, but the man could at least be arrested by the fashion police.</p>
<p>Marcus picked up the phone and began to dial the number for Bartley Brothers. As he waited on hold, he kept an eye on the suspected forger. Man had probably gone years since his last manicure. How could people live this way?</p>
<p>&#8220;Personnel office, this is Dreyer.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Yeah, this is Marcus Weller at 8<sup>th</sup> Street Bank. do you have a Dave Droller there?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Droller, how do you spell that?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;D-r-o-l-l-er.&#8221;</p>
<p>The customer said, &#8220;Hey, I don&#8217;t have all day, miss. I&#8217;ll have my $3,000 and be on my way.&#8221;</p>
<p>The personnel clerk responded. &#8220;No Droller here.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus turned to Amber and mouthed, &#8220;Stall him.&#8221;</p>
<p>The customer said, &#8220;Miss, I need my money.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;We&#8217;re just verifying funds on the check. Have you thought about opening a checking account of your own?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t want a checking account, I want my freakin&#8217; money.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Sir, it&#8217;s a big paycheck. Most people don&#8217;t ask for that much in cash. We don&#8217;t usually keep that much on hand.&#8221;</p>
<p>Droller reached into his coat and pulled out a gun. &#8220;Okay, let me put it this way. Hey, pretty boy back there. You have two minutes to get me $3,000 in unmarked five dollar bills. No dye packs in the bag. I&#8217;m gonna check. I ain&#8217;t no fool.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus swallowed and raced back to the safe. He snatched up every stack of fives he could find and tossed them in a bag. He brought the bag out and, from several feet back, threw it at the robber.</p>
<p>Droller caught it with one hand. And unfortunately had brought a gun he could maneuver one-handed. &#8220;Always come with a back up plan, I always say.&#8221;</p>
<p>Two police officers entered the building. &#8220;Freeze, mister! Drop the gun! Now!&#8221;</p>
<p>Droller trained the gun on Amber&#8217;s heart. &#8220;One more step and she gets it.&#8221;</p>
<p>The lead officer said, &#8220;You don&#8217;t want to do this.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Who says I don&#8217;t? A lot of people get to experience things I haven&#8217;t, but how many people actually get to commit murder? Pull the trigger, watch them die. Coppers, I do want to do this, but if I can get out of here, maybe I won&#8217;t.&#8221;</p>
<p>The police officers took a step back. The forger pointed his gun at Amber. &#8220;Climb over the counter, lady. You&#8217;re my ticket out of here.&#8221;</p>
<p>Amber froze.</p>
<p>&#8220;Hey, you hable the Ingles?&#8221; asked the forger.  &#8220;This ain&#8217;t like an invitation to your great uncle&#8217;s fifth wedding. It&#8217;s mandatory.&#8221;</p>
<p>Amber climbed over the counter and the criminal placed the arm holding the loot around her. &#8220;Now, we&#8217;re going to walk out of here, nice and calm.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus trembled? What was he supposed to do? He raised a fist. &#8220;Stop that!&#8221;</p>
<p>The criminal laughed. &#8220;Oh, pretty boy, who you kidding?&#8221;  He pulled the gun away from Amber and fired two shots at Marcus.  One of the officers got off two shots. It may have hit, Marcus didn&#8217;t know.</p>
<p>Marcus was hit like a train wreck and the world disappeared.</p>
<p>###</p>
<p><em>Three years later</em></p>
<p>Marcus Weller walked down the streets of Cleveland, his right big toe feeling cold concrete through the hole in his shoe and a thick, grisly dirt brown beard  wrapping his face like a scarf. He lifted a bottle of cheap wine to his mouth and took a swig. He sat down in a corner, near a dingy brick building and drank. Once again the world disappeared.</p>
<p>When it reappeared, he was being kicked in the stomach. He stared up at six punks.</p>
<p>&#8220;Let&#8217;s waste the wino,&#8221; said one.</p>
<p>Another took a baseball bat to Marcus&#8217; stomach. &#8220;Yeah, ain&#8217;t nobody gonna miss ‘im. This gonna impress Drecka fo&#8217; sho&#8217;.&#8221;</p>
<p>Another slammed his foot down on Marcus&#8217; pockmarked face. &#8220;Impress, nothin&#8217;. But if we gotta kill somebody to get in, I guess he&#8217;ll do. Even this guy was somebody once.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus didn&#8217;t care. Might as well be dead. Couldn&#8217;t save Amber. He was nothing.</p>
<p>Into the alley walked an old man dressed like an umpire with chest guard and mask. He readied a riffle on the wannabe gangstas. &#8220;Hey, punks, what&#8217;s your business?&#8221;</p>
<p>One swallowed. &#8220;Ain&#8217;t nothin&#8217;.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Looks like somethin&#8217; to me. You tryin&#8217; to get into Drecka&#8217;s gang and gonna kill the wino, eh? Tell you what, punks. I&#8217;m gonna count to ten. Those still in the alley other than me and the drunk will be open season. Those who are out will have a strike on ‘em. Willie you better clean up, ‘cause you won&#8217;t like it when the Umpire calls strike three.&#8221; He made a gesture with his thumb. &#8220;You&#8217;re out.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;He ain&#8217;t worth killin,&#8217;&#8221; pronounced one of the gangers, before splitting.</p>
<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s fine,&#8221; said the Umpire. &#8220;Wouldn&#8217;t want you to wet your pants back here. All right. Now, time to count.&#8221;</p>
<p>By the time the Umpire reached five, Marcus and the Umpire were alone.</p>
<p>The Umpire grabbed Marcus by the arm and pulled him up. &#8220;Follow me. Alcohol won&#8217;t keep you warm out here tonight.&#8221;</p>
<p>The Umpire led him inside an old abandoned house on 38<sup>th</sup> street. After a few cups of coffee at a cracked orange fiberglass table, the umpire said, &#8220;So, why&#8217;d you decide to throw your life away?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Quite blunt about it, ain&#8217;t you?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;And why shouldn&#8217;t I be?&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus told about the robbery. &#8220;It turns out, when I went down, one shot hit the robber and one hit Amber. They lived through that, but he led her to the get away car. The police followed until he found a way to distract them, so they&#8217;d have to stop following.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;What would stop cops from following a guy with a hostage.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus grimaced. &#8220;Throwing the hostage out of the car when you&#8217;re going 70 miles an hour. They might as well not have bothered. She died on impact. That scum got away.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;And what about you?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Oh, I started drinking. Not Roy Rogers or the usual stuff. I got into hard scotch and tequila. I showed up late for work, got warnings. Showed up drunk for work, got fired. Got another job, lost that. Lost my apartment, lost my clothes. Still got Jack Daniels.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;So you just gonna wander around until you drink yourself to death?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Why not?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I guess if you didn&#8217;t really love her.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus pushed away from the table and stood. &#8220;How dare you. Come on, I&#8217;ll fight you.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;You can&#8217;t even stand up straight. No, you need something more to keep you alive. You know what does it for me: hatred. Hatred of all the scum that walks this street and harms the innocent. I make sure they stop-permanently.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re a vigilante.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s a livin&#8217;. Actually, some bounty hunting on the side pays the rent. I bring in my bounties alive. Usually, anyway.&#8221;</p>
<p>Marcus fell back into his chair. &#8220;What&#8217;s in it for me?&#8221;</p>
<p>Umpire shrugged. &#8220;Revenge. Amounting to something. Before, you were a pretty boy bank teller, now you&#8217;re a drunk. You&#8217;re a dime a dozen, Marcus. Men like me are gold. You fight with me, you learn from me, and you&#8217;ll bring him in, and a lot more like him.&#8221;</p>
<p>###</p>
<p>Dressed in all black, Marcus drew a fresh automatic from a leather overcoat chuck full of them and ran past the body of his mentor, lying sprawled in the alley. There&#8217;d be tears, but later. He knew what Umpire would have wanted. Vengeance: vengeance on the scum that had destroyed Umpire years after destroying Amber.</p>
<p>A bullet zinged out of the alley. The rat was frantic. He had to know he was cornered. Marcus waited for the sweetest sound he&#8217;d ever heard: click</p>
<p>Marcus stepped into the alley, gun drawn. He stared at the man who&#8217;d ruined his life, killed his love, and his mentor.</p>
<p>The murdering scum threw himself prostate on the ground. &#8220;Please don&#8217;t kill me.&#8221;</p>
<p>Yeah, like any mercy had come to Amber or to him. &#8220;You stepped into my bank with a pay check five years ago, wanted it cashed. I didn&#8217;t do it then, because you were a fraud. But,  I got good news.&#8221; Marcus trained his gun on the murdering scum. &#8220;Today is your payday.&#8221;</p>
<p><em>If you’ve enjoyed this story, please check out the first edition of </em><a href="http://lasersword.adamsweb.us//" linkindex="4"><span>Laser &amp; Sword Magazine</span></a><em> which is available for a<a href="http://www.lulu.com/content/1768071" set="yes" linkindex="5"> free download</a>, and watch for the next edition of Laser and Sword on April 6th. You may repost this, but please leave this footer. Thank you.<br />
</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Character Profile: The Sword</title>
		<link>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/character-profile-the-sword/</link>
		<comments>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/character-profile-the-sword/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 31 Dec 2007 03:45:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Character Sketches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Order of the Sword]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/character-profile-the-sword/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Age: 32 Height: 5&#8217;8&#8243; Weight: 155 Alter Ego: Jesse Miller  Ethnicity: Caucasian Religion: Raised Methodist, Attends Megachurch Occupation: World&#8217;s Greatest Hero, Comic Book Company CEO Powers: Superb Physical Conditioning, Fencing Skills, Wielder of the world&#8217;s most powerful blade. Organization: Guild of Heroes (President) The Skinny: The Sword is the world&#8217;s most admired hero. Through the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Age: 32</p>
<p>Height: 5&#8217;8&#8243;</p>
<p>Weight: 155</p>
<p>Alter Ego: Jesse Miller </p>
<p>Ethnicity: Caucasian</p>
<p>Religion: Raised Methodist, Attends Megachurch</p>
<p>Occupation: World&#8217;s Greatest Hero, Comic Book Company CEO</p>
<p>Powers: Superb Physical Conditioning, Fencing Skills, Wielder of the world&#8217;s most powerful blade.</p>
<p>Organization: Guild of Heroes (President)</p>
<p>The Skinny: The Sword is the world&#8217;s most admired hero. Through the Sword Comic Books, he provides Earth&#8217;s heroes with a piece of the action from the comic book and toy markets. As the Sword, he is the charismatic leader who has brought together all the Earth&#8217;s greatest heroes into the Guild of Heroes and will lead them on a mission to Jamaica.</p>
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		<title>Character Profile: A.L. Snyder in Crossroads</title>
		<link>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/character-profile-al-snyder-in-crossroads/</link>
		<comments>http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/character-profile-al-snyder-in-crossroads/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 23 Dec 2007 07:10:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Character Sketches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Rise of the Judge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[A.L. Snyder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vigilante]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Youth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lasersword.adamsweb.us/character-profile-al-snyder-in-crossroads/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Name: A.L. Snyder Age: 16 Height: 5&#8217;9&#8243; Weight: 150 lbs.  Ethnicity: Caucasian Hometown: Boise, Idaho Religion: Catholic (Lapsed) Occupation: Hoodlum, Private in the Imperial Army The Skinny:As leader of the Vigilante Gang, &#8220;The Commanders,&#8221; Snyder brought justice to the gangs of Boise. However, when he steps over the line, he faces a clear choice: death by hanging [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Name: A.L. Snyder</p>
<p>Age: 16</p>
<p>Height: 5&#8217;9&#8243;</p>
<p>Weight: 150 lbs. </p>
<p>Ethnicity: Caucasian</p>
<p>Hometown: Boise, Idaho</p>
<p>Religion: Catholic (Lapsed)</p>
<p>Occupation: Hoodlum, Private in the Imperial Army</p>
<p>The Skinny:As leader of the Vigilante Gang, &#8220;The Commanders,&#8221; Snyder brought justice to the gangs of Boise. However, when he steps over the line, he faces a clear choice: death by hanging or serving three years in the military.</p>
<p>As a high school dropout, Snyder must pass the GED. If he doesn&#8217;t, he&#8217;s on his way back to Boise, with a one way ticket to the gallows.</p>
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